Dear Friends and Colleagues!
Happy January! I hope this letter finds you refreshed, renewed,
and resting in the lovely folds of winter. While not verdant and
green as spring, absent of the cricket song of summer and the
flaming beauty of autumn, winter lays a blanket of quietude and
silence over our busy lives. May we accept the contemplative
invitation of wintertime and use it for the noble work of
preparing for a new year – the fresh page upon which nothing is
yet written.
What a wonderful thing, this twelve month cycle that begins and
ends, and then begins again, as the world rolls through time. We
are as farmers standing with hands on hip before the
freshly-tilled soil, ready for planting. Individually and together
we stand before a new year – pristine, unblemished, unlived, ripe
with possibility and unimagined wonders. As such, we are given yet
another opportunity to reflect on the year past, to harvest its
lessons, and plant anew that which we would wish with earnest
hearts to sow in the year to come.
Of course “calendar time” is arbitrary; we know that at any
moment we are free to make the fresh start, to forge a new path,
and to consider (again) the road not yet taken. The tradition that
comes with the keeping of a calendar, however, affords us the
annual re-thinking of how we are spending the precious gift of our
lives. For many of us it is one of the few times in a year that we
remember the extent to which we are author, director, playwright
and actor on the stage of what is our one temporary treasure of a
life. What an important tradition, as that very remembrance is an
essential ingredient to a purposeful and soulful life - essential
like wheat to bread, like grape to wine, like fire to the sun. A
wholehearted and purposeful life requires that we remember who we
are, not just in the world, but at the core of ourselves - to
remember what we consider sacred and worthy of our time and
talent. Poets throughout the ages have referred to winter as a
time of hibernatio n and deep dreaming. I would like to suggest
that we dream, yes, but with eyes wide open! Let us step into the
warm pool of our heart’s longing, diving deeply into that which we
love and is worthy of our devotion.
Johann Van Goethe once wisely advised “Just trust yourself, and
then you will know how to live.” I do not always find that easy
advice to take as I know that I am full of half-baked ideas and
dim-witted impulses. For very good reason, I do not always have
complete confidence in my emotions of the moment. What Goethe
suggests here is that we trust a deeper part of ourselves, not the
surface impulse. What better place to start in trusting ourselves
than to look at those aspects of the world for which we have
abiding love and enduring affection? Looking beyond surface
desires of the moment or the fancy and fantasy of the month, what
if we dig deeper and looked with truer eyes into our heart of
hearts – what would we find? Isn’t it only by being true to our
deepest yearnings and longings that we can make our lives our own?
How do we pledge our loyalty and devotion to the desire and
longing of our hearts in the midst of having to make a living and
juggling the mundane tasks and duties of our over-committed,
over-extended lives? I offer just a few suggestions.
1. Look to what you love as to what you are here to give to the
world.
We must trust with our heart of hearts that what we love is in
fact a kind of gravity holding us to the part of the world in
which we are meant to engage, participate and give of ourselves.
What we love is what we are here to learn most about and to teach.
In this issue’s Poem of the Month, “Wild Geese”, Mary Oliver
entreats us to trust what we love in the same way that the wild
geese trust the instincts of their own migration. She suggests
that it is through what we love that “the world announces our
place in the family of things”. Surely the longings in our hearts
carry a map and an intelligence we may not be privy to in any
other way. They carry our way of expressing ourselves in the
world, our native language, our smaller world of belonging. For
Anne Morrow Lindbergh it was the sea, for Hemingway it was the
bulls, for Georgia O’Keefe the world of the flower. What is it for
you - making art, caring for young children, running the marathon,
playing video games, colle cting antique postcards, building
birdhouses, repairing cars, restoring old furniture, baking pies,
writing poetry?
Of all the questions I most value to begin the process of job
targeting or vocational assessment, it is, “What do you love?”
While many of us do not know what we want, what we can do best, or
what we most value, almost everyone, at every age and stage of
life knows what they love! What is important is that we keep
asking the question so that, as e.e. cummings advises, “we can
keep the soul ajar”. Here are a few prompts to get you uncovering
the treasure of your heart’s longing:
I have always dreamed that I could be …
Ways to spend my time in which I feel most deeply engaged
include …
I find myself most passionate about …
I have always been fascinated by…
I get excited about …
I have always been drawn towards …
In terms of work in the world, I am really attracted to …
I am captivated by…
The coolest thing I can ever imagine doing is …
One activity that gives me a great sense of well-being is …
I have always loved …
In relation to my work, I long to …
2. In order to delve into your bigger dreams and longings, dive
into the smaller ones.
I love the idea of starting anything from where you are – with
the tiniest of steps. So what if we start with being true to some
of the little things we love and work our way up to the bigger
ones? So if you love the color red, surround yourself with it –
wear it, paint with it, plant red flowers and make spaghetti! If
you love Van Morrison, play him with the volume turned up! If you
love baths, take one every night this week – with varying kinds of
bubbles! In other words, indulge your affections in those places
where it is immediately possible! What if we worried less about
improving ourselves and focused more on delighting ourselves?
After all, what we love is nutritious for us our souls – it gives
us hope, optimism and encouragement. Maybe before we can believe
in making our grandest desires come true we just need to be true
to ourselves in small and consistent ways – as if watering the
seedlings of our dreams so that our confidence grows with it!
3. Appreciate the value of passion in today’s job market!
To those who think that following what one loves as a clue to
one’s livelihood is unrealistic in today’s competitive job market,
I have two words, “Think again”. In fact, I would go so far as to
say that if you are applying for work for which you have little
passion, don’t bother getting your hopes up because the job will
probably go to the person who does, even if you are more
qualified. Case in point: if you were interviewing someone to care
for your elderly grandmother, would you be more likely to hire the
person who has a degree in gerontology but has little interest in
working with a real person, or the applicant with little knowledge
or experience but who has a natural inclination and a deep respect
for working with the elderly? There is no question about it –
passion for the work will trump qualifications any day of the
week!
4. We cannot afford to ignore our longings – in and/or outside
of work!
To live a wholehearted life implies that you will live in
alignment with your whole heart – this cannot exclude the heart’s
deepest affections and longing. Naturally we want to incorporate
our master passions and deepest desires into our livelihoods.
Assisting the individuals we serve to do the same is a primary aim
of career counselors. But we have all had the experience of taking
work in order to pay the bills even when the job did not ring our
bell or blow our hair back. (Luckily for us in those instances, no
one showed up who loved it any more than we did!) But even during
those times when we are working outside the area of our deepest
passion, I say, “So what?” Our lives are far bigger, broader and
wider than our jobs! Life is big! Life is huge! If you love
writing but your current work allows little outlet for your
creative impulses, write at night – write in your journal – write
to your local paper – write your memoirs – write some letters –
write to your con gressman, but, for the love of your longing –
WRITE! We cannot afford to hold back in relation to what we love –
it would be like a cherry tree holding back its blossoms and never
producing its fruit. Let’s expand our notion about when, where,
with whom, and in what context we can live out our dream of
dreams! As Rev. Deborah Johnson of Inner Light Ministries in Santa
Cruz said in her sermon last Sunday, “Perhaps your dreams are
waiting for you to come true!”
If you can look back at 2003 and smile wide with how you have
poured your heart and soul into the longings and loves you have
been given, be grateful, and keeping doing what you are doing. If
you look back and what you see gives you pause, be grateful, and
consider small changes you can make. What a forgiving gift, the
gift of time – a new year in which to make fresh choices,
establish new habits, recommit to dreams, and rededicate ourselves
to an inner life that is not as concerned with the work that we do
as the lives we are living. With last year’s joys and sorrows,
mistakes and triumphs imprinted upon us, may we take up the mantel
of tomorrow with the light of purposefulness and hope in our eyes.
May we resolve to live this year wholehearted and full-bodied –
cognizant that the imprints of our dreams on our lives are as real
as the tracks of our boots in the snow or as bare feet in the
sand. As such, may we choose our dreams with care and honor the
dreams of the peo ple with whom we are privileged to work and
live.
May you be true to the longings of your heart...
- Denise
© Denise Bissonnette, January 2004
About Denise...
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