Dear Friends and Colleagues,

Happy February! I write new articles every other month, using the “leap month” to respond to questions and comments from past articles and suggest ideas in preparation for those upcoming. This is a leap month! For those of you who did not get a chance to read last month’s issue entitled, “Being True to Our Dreams”, see the link below.

I received some great questions and comments from readers of the last few newsletters dealing with the issue of identifying and being true to the worthy dream! I have chosen to respond to three of those questions which I thought would have the widest appeal. Enjoy!

Dear Denise,

I loved your last two issues on the “necessity of dreams” and on the importance of “being true to them”. I am using the ideas and questions posed in those issues in my weekly support groups. I am just wondering what you would say to those whose lifelong dreams never came true, and thus, no longer believe in the power of dreams or feel that they wasted energy on a dream that, in the end, did not serve them. Thank you for your on-going inspiration!

Career Counselor, Calgary, Alberta
 

Worthy dreams reflect a vision, a longing, or an inner knowing we might not have access to any other way. When I think about the years I spent as a child dreaming of entering the convent and living my life in service to God, I do not consider those years wasted on a vision that would never come to pass. I think of that time and that long-cherished dream as essential in the important work of growing my soul. The dream of being Sister Mary Catherine (yes, I even had a name picked out) inspired me with a vision and an ideal of a person I longed to become. This dream gave me a direction and a purpose that I knew was bigger and more important than the day to day dramas and challenges I was experiencing as a child and as a young woman.

That, in part, is the gift of a dream – it reveals a truth about our lives. In a way, our deepest longings and our highest-flying dreams impregnate us. We are, each of us, inhabited by a larger life than we know. Like flowers bent on blossoming, our dreams and desires nudge us forward. Something larger and finer than we know calls us to be larger and finer than we would dare to be without that call. There are times when in the midst of what feels like magic in my work, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction reminiscent of a small girl’s dream for herself and I think, “Hmmm…is this what feels like to be Sister Mary Catherine?”.

As I am fond of saying in my training, “What we want matters little; why we want it is everything.” Look for the dream inside the dream – search for the seed that remains and find, perhaps, the soil of another dream to plant it in. Find the truth burning at the heart of any desire and be true to it.
 

Dear Denise,

I have been personally touched by your ideas about the importance of dreaming and identifying the “worthy” dream and I am sharing that information not only with my students but with my children as well. What I am finding is that a lot of people don’t know how to dream or are afraid to dream, lest they be disappointed. Could you speak to that issue in a future issue?

High School Transition Specialist, Phoenix, Arizona
 

Fear: I don’t have a dream.

Response: Not knowing the shape of or the name of a dream doesn’t mean you don’t have one. Everybody has dreams because everyone has their own set of personal preferences, desires, interests and longings, and what are these but the ingredients of a dream?

Fear: I am afraid to dream, lest I fail to make it come true.

Response: One surefire way of making sure it doesn’t come true is to never claim it in the first place! But by creating and naming the dream, and then separating it into small, doable steps, regardless of the end result you are being true to yourself and your desires.

Fear: I’m afraid to publicly commit to a dream lest I won’t see it through.

Response: Keep your dream to yourself until it has grown on you and you’ve grown into it! You can try a dream on for as long as you like, keeping it a secret until the time when you are either ready to let it go or share it with the world.

Fear: What if I go for a dream and it doesn’t turn out to be what I hoped for?

Response: So what! A dream is a work in progress and can be continually changed and altered. But until you go for the dream, you have nowhere to start in growing and shaping the life you want to be living.

Fear: I’m afraid of choosing the wrong path or going in the wrong direction.

Response: I love the saying, “There is no such thing as failure, there’s just feedback!” There are no wrong choices or wrong paths; but there are new choices and new paths! The real risk lies in not making any choice or not taking any path because, when we remain in the same place, there is no feedback from which to learn and grow.

In the face of our fears, perhaps we can take heed of the words of Jean De La Fontaine who wrote, “Man is made so that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish.”
 

Dear Denise,

How do we help people begin working towards their dreams? I work with a whole lot of “dreamers” who do nothing more than dream. Any advice would be helpful. Keep up the good work!

Mental Health Worker, Rochester, New York
 

• Why do you want this? What do you imagine will be different in your life as a result of following through on this dream?

• What factors need to be considered in pursuit of this dream? (e.g., Timing, Money, Information, Planning, Support, etc.)

• What strengths /skills/resources do you need to pursue the dream?

• What are the possible obstacles you may face in pursuit of this dream? What small steps could you take to remove those obstacles?

• Are you committed to this dream? If not, what would have to happen in order for you to commit to following through on it?

• What would be the cost to you of not pursuing this dream?

• What are 5-10 small steps you could take in the next week that could bring you closer to bringing this dream into fruition?

• Which of those 5-10 small steps are you willing to be accountable for in the next week?

• What assistance would you like from me to support you in taking those next steps?
 

Throughout the ages winter has been referred to as the season of dreams – this gorgeous poem tells us why. Thanks to my friend Sandie Brown in Minnesota who sent me the link to the McCabe Renewal Center in Duluth on whose website this poem was posted.
 

1. Think about some of your childhood dreams and consider the piece of truth each held, regardless of whether or not it came true.

2. Use the list of “guiding questions” with regard to one of your unlived dreams. (See: “Guiding questions in pursuit of a dream” above.)

3. It gives us a head start when we take our dreams seriously. If you want to be a writer, start writing. If you want to be an artist, start painting. If you are tired of simply dreaming the dream, start doing the dream.

4. Write a speech that begins with the words, “I have a dream…” or write the lyrics to your own song entitled, “Imagine”.

5. When you start getting itchy for spring, re-read this month’s poem “O Antiphons for Winter”.

Denise has published several important works on topics of job development, career development, personal development and similar topics. She also has two video-based in-service training programs available. Please visit our online store, Diversity Shop, for more information on these and related products.

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Previous editions of the "True Livelihood Newsletter" are archived on our website.

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