 Seeing Beyond Barriers
- Part II: Using Creative Prompts to Unearth Hidden
Treasure!
Dear Friends and
Colleagues,
Happy June!
Wherever you reside, I hope this issue finds you
delighting in a lush green world coming into flower,
reminding you of all that awaits blossoming in your own
life! As it has been a rather hectic spring, I was not
able to fit in the writing of a May issue of this
newsletter. I am thrilled, however, to be back on task
as we pick up on the theme from the April issue entitled
“The Imperative of Creativity in Seeing Beyond
Barriers”.
In that article I
shared what I perceive to be at the cornerstone of our
work: To help and support people in seeing beyond their
(real or perceived) barriers in order to enter the more
expansive field of their potential and possibility! I
contend in the article that we are called to creativity
not simply as a way to occasionally enhance our work,
but as the very essence of that work, culminating in the
illumination of a person’s possibilities and the
expansion of their choices.
To that end, I
further asserted the need to apply creative stamina,
persistence and patience to look into a person’s
abilities and gifts in order to see their possibilities,
rather than being content to look at their
present circumstances. With the poem “Blue Skies”, I
suggested that, when working with an individual to
assess their choices, we resist the placid role of the
bureaucrat and instead undertake, the grittier and more
creative roles of explorer, dreamer, coach, gambler,
gardener, and keeper of the flame, in order to bestow
the quintessential gifts of good counsel, compassion and
perspective. Having left off with a poetic appeal, let
me pick it up here with some practical ideas and
specific suggestions for seeing beyond a person’s
barriers and uncovering the gifts and strengths that may
hidden just below the surface.
1. Ask
questions that stir rather than hinder the imagination!
I begin almost
every workshop with a discussion about the importance of
the questions we ask, as I believe it to be the most
underrated and overlooked leverage we have in the work
we do. As thousands of people have heard me quote, in
the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. “Our questions are
everything! They will shape our destiny as clearly as
the skeleton shapes the body!”
We should treat
the questions we ask with the same kind of respect and
precision we would treat any other tool we deem
important. There are certain questions, for example, we
should avoid, like those with built-in answers, or
yes-no questions that only serve to perpetuate
traditional thinking like: “Don’t you think that going
back to work is your first priority?” or “Getting your
foot in the door of the work world would be a great
step, right?” These questions only leave themselves
open to agreement or disagreement, leaving no room to
stir the imagination. Then there are questions like
“What have you done before?” or “What are your
qualifications?” which keep us stuck in the conventional
thinking that one has to necessarily fit into a
position, like being sized for an off-the-rack suit.
Inquiries such as “What positions are you interested
in?”, “What do you want to do for a living?”, or “What
is your current career goal?” still only scratch the
surface, and leave us to wonder on what basis these
choices were made, with whose influence, and founded on
what information.
The greatest gift
we have to offer a person is a picture of themselves
that is bigger, grander, and more beautiful than what
they were ever able to conjure for themselves, and with
it, the promise of unforeseen opportunity. If you
think about it, how we see ourselves and our
possibilities is largely the result of our own
imaginations. Thus, we need to ask questions that
awaken the imagination in such a way that conjures up
images of ourselves in the backdrop of our deepest
purposes and our greatest possibilities! For example,
-
If you were
to consider yourself on a noble quest, what is it
for?
-
What do you
consider to be your “path with heart”?
-
What would
the world lack without your presence in it?
-
At this time
in your life, what do you feel is worthy of your
time and care?
-
What legacy
would you like to leave the people you love?
Notice that these
more expansive questions do not necessarily exclude a
person’s more immediate and pragmatic plans and needs,
yet they invite the person to peer beyond the borders of
any preconceived ideas about what is or isn’t
possible.
2. Don’t
allow your knowledge about a person’s past limit your
thinking about their potential for the future!
The predominant
thinking in our field is that when helping people set
realistic goals for their future, it is important to
stick to the particulars around their education and work
history and let the facts speak for themselves. A
corollary assumption is that the past is always the best
predictor of someone’s future. I couldn’t disagree
more!
I will never
forget the person who spoke up in a workshop about
creative job development saying, “Denise, all these
ideas are great but they could never work for the
migrant workers I work with because their experience has
been limited to the fields.” Here is a prime example of
people unnecessarily being held hostage to their past.
Sometimes what we know by looking at a person’s prior
experience is the history of opportunities they have had
or not had, nothing more and nothing less. What should
interest us far more is the history of their potential!
The truth is that we have no idea how many prospective
mathematicians, musicians, and/or master mechanics are
in the fields today picking strawberries, gathering
garlic, or planting potatoes. And how would we know
until they have been given the opportunity to turn an
equation, to sit in front of a piano, or to get under
the hood of a car?
Ironically, I
remember working with a Romanian refugee who came to me
looking for a night shift position in manufacturing so
that he could continue his schooling in the late
afternoon and early evening. Once he was working, he
admitted to me that he had been a renowned conductor in
the Romanian Symphony for twelve years. Aghast, I asked
him why he hadn’t shared that information with me
before. His response astounded me: “Because I knew that
my prior experience would have blinded you to the
possibility that I, like any other, can provide manual
labor to make my rent while going to school to become a
music teacher. I knew that in order for you to help me
make my present goal, I would have to hide my prior
achievements, lest you feel as if you were failing me.”
This kind and noble gentleman taught me that there are a
variety of ways in which our thinking about a person’s
past can stand in the way of their future
possibilities.
3. Look
to the power of a person’s dreams, desires, and purposes
in the present for a glimpse into their future
possibilities!
I believe with
all my heart that what we dream of, long for, and feel
called to are the most powerful beacons leading to the
path of our possibilities! We have a tremendous amount
of information available to us through our creative
inclinations, our intuitive hunches, and our natural
proclivities. In keeping with the spirit of the poet
Keats, “I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the
heart’s affections.”
My three favorite
lines of inquiry in exploring a person’s vocational
possibilities are: what is it they love, what is it that
they care about, and what are their gifts and where
would they like to give them. As you can well imagine,
many people feel more comfortable and better prepared to
respond to more surface-level, utilitarian questions
than they are to inquiries that require them to dive
below the surface. But as they say, pearls don’t float
up on shore; one must dive deep for such treasures.
As many of you
know, I have written extensively in my books as well as
in past issues of this newsletter about helping people
uncover, discover and recover their dreams, their
desires, their interest and their purposes. (For
further info on these topics, see the
archived issues of this newsletter.) In my writings
I have shared lists of “open-ended prompts” which I find
are easier for people to respond to than direct
questions. Here is a partial list of prompts excerpted
from past issues of this newsletter that can help a
person explore the vibrant and colorful treasure that
lies in the depths of their life experience.
On The Call
of Natural Gifts -
September, 2003
I have always
been good at …
I am a natural
when it comes to …
People in my life
seem to praise me most for my …
If I were to be
called a master of anything, I would have to be a master
of…
I find myself
intensely focused and involved when I am …
Even as a child I
was drawn towards …
I am often
appreciated for my …
Something that
comes easily to me is …
If I were to
receive an award, it would have to be for …
I have always had
a knack for …
As it is in the
nature of the bird to fly, I know it is in my nature to
…
On The Call
of Longing (What We Love) -
January, 2004
I have always
dreamed that I could …
I am very
passionate about …
I have always
been fascinated by …
I get excited
about …
I am very drawn
towards …
I am captivated
by…
The coolest thing
I can ever imagine doing is …
Activities that
give me a great sense of well-being are …
I have always
loved …
In relation to my
work, I long to …
On the Call
to Purpose (What We Care About) –
February, 2004
I have always
cared deeply about …
I would love to
be part of the effort to change …
A personal
challenge that I have experienced and would like to help
others cope with or avoid is …
A cause or issue
that captures my heart and imagination is …
What I know in my
bones I must be a part of is …
My life would
feel incomplete without my having given something to…
I have always
known that I am called to a life of ….
A purpose that
feels like an imperative in my blood is …
(Notice that none
of the prompts in any of the three categories above
presume prior work experience, although they also do not
exclude a person from sharing information related to
past employment or educational experience.)
4. Put as
much stock in a person’s stories and “defining moments”
as in the facts and data gathered from other
measurements!
We are a field
that loves assessments! We value instruments that
identify personality types, perform values
clarification, isolate interests, gauge the strength of
social skills, etc. I am not knocking the value of
these instruments, but I think we need to be careful to
not lean so heavily on the output of these measures,
that we fail to get the input of the person! My
experience is that the data gathered from these measures
must be considered in the larger context of the person’s
real life! There is a big difference between “fact” and
“truth”, between circumstance and response to
circumstance. I don’t know of a single assessment that
measures the distance between the two. I don’t know of
a single assessment that accurately measures what is in
a person’s heart to achieve, gauges the depth of a
person’s dreams, or determines the strength of a
person’s will, resilience, or spiritual faith. What can
illumine and unearth this hidden treasure, however, is
the simple invitation to tell one’s story(s).
I am in agreement
with the notion, “The world is not made up of atoms, it
is made of stories”. Engaging people in a conversation
about their “defining moments” or what they consider to
be their “central life stories” is a way of getting past
the pretense and below the facade that can keep a
person’s authentic self hidden. When we open ourselves
to learning about the whole person, encouraging them to
share aspects of their lives which they have deemed
important in shaping their hopes and their fears, their
dreams and desires, what we learn is often nothing less
than astonishing. It is through a person’s stories
that we discern the difference between the facts we have
gathered and the truth they have lived. A few prompts
to invite the sharing of a person’s stories include:
-
One of the
most thrilling things I have ever experienced was …
-
I will never
forget learning to …
-
One of the
events in my life in which I showed great strength
was …
-
Times in my
life in which I was really glad to be me were …
-
A few of the
“defining moments” of my life would have to include
…
5. Look for
the treasure hidden in those aspects of a person’s life
that might otherwise be considered barriers!
Often in telling
their stories, we will hear about a person’s struggles,
challenges, or difficulties – many of which we have
labeled as ‘employment barriers”. While it is important
to listen deeply to the person’s version of the story,
we need not accept the surface story as the whole
story. What we often fail to see in our own traumatic
or difficult life experiences is the tale of courage,
strength or resourcefulness that is also part of the
story. We need to be listening for the gifts and
strengths that a person may have failed to recognize in
themselves. Beneath the barrier that is obvious, and
typically the focus of attention, can lie an
unrecognized wealth of skills and attributes.
I recall a woman
who survived a childhood of terrible physical, sexual
and emotional abuse saying that while she would never
have chosen it, she wouldn’t necessarily trade it for a
different childhood because she wouldn’t want to lose
being the person she has become as a result of it. A
young man who had significant learning disabilities and
consequently suffered tremendous alienation from other
students in his high school, reported that it was his
loneliness and sense of isolation at that time that
prompted the writing of his poetry and song-writing
which has become the basis of a career he now
cherishes. Then too, there was the woman who felt as if
she was being unfairly perceived as “lazy” for having
spent a decade receiving welfare. What others did not
know, she explained, was that over those ten years she
had cared for her ailing mother and essentially raised
her three younger siblings on her own. Her deeper story
revealed that not only was she not lazy, she was a
deeply determined and resourceful woman!
While these
stories do not diminish the pain and difficulty that
people experience, they do affirm the amazing capability
of the human spirit to rise above, overcome, and
sometimes even benefit from the most trying of
circumstances and conditions!
When listening to
people’s stories it is important to hear the story
within the story. What is it about this event that
the person relates to or identifies with? What
qualities, beliefs, or values does it reflect? Does
identifying with this story enlarge the person’s sense
of self or does it diminish it? Questions like the
following can help a person find the story within the
story:
-
Given
everything you have experienced, what do you know
about yourself that you might not have otherwise
known?
-
What are some
of the qualities, strengths or abilities you have
gained as a result of this experience (condition,
event, circumstance)?
-
What do you
think has made it possible for you to survive and
overcome the obstacles you have encountered?
-
Given all
that you have had to go through, what are you
grateful for?
-
If there were
a degree for all that you have learned from having
your (disability, condition, circumstance), what
would you have earned your degree in?
Questions like
these can prompt us to leave the forest of our fears and
journey onto the meadow where all our potential and
possibility flourishes, reconnecting with our heart’s
longing and our yearning for discovery. I would like to
end this article with an excerpt from the wonderful
Irish writer and poet, John O’Donohue, from his
beautiful book, Eternal Echoes, in which he
speaks eloquently to this inherent longing for ongoing
creation and discovery:
“The mind has
a magnificent, creative restlessness that always brings
it on a new journey. Even in the most sensible and
controlled lives there is often an undertow of longing
that would deliver them to distant shores. There is
something within you that is not content to remain fixed
within any one frame. You cannot immunize yourself
against your longing to reach beyond and discover
something new. Discovery delights the heart and calls
you out of yourself. This is the natural joy of
childhood and the earned joy of the artist, both
pilgrims of discovery. When you limit your life to the
one frame of thinking, you close out the mystery. When
you fence in the desires of your heart within fixed
walls of belief, morality, and convention, you dishonor
the call to discovery. Discovery is the nature of the
soul. There is some wildness of divinity in us, calling
us to live everything. As the Irish poet Patrick
Kavanagh said, “To be dead is to stop believing in / The
masterpieces we will begin tomorrow.”
Here’s to the
wild divinity in each of us, and that which calls us to
see it in others,
~ Denise
© Denise Bissonnette, June 2008
(If not used for commercial purposes, this article
may be reproduced, all or in part, providing it is credited to
"Denise Bissonnette, Diversity World - www.diversityworld.com." If included
in a newsletter or other publication, we would
appreciate receiving a copy.)
Read Denise's
previous (April 2008) newsletter...
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