This issue is dedicated to my beloved mother-in-law,
Shirley Fowler, (Feb. 19th, 1925 – Feb., 5th 2010)
whose presence is sorely missed,
but whose legacy of love lives on!
Dear Friends
and Colleagues,
Happy
Holidays ! Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, the Solstice, Kwanzaa, or
Christmas, (or none of the above), I hope this December issue finds
you cheery and warm, in heart, body and spirit, as winter takes the
stage in nature’s yearly drama. From where I am sitting three
brazen chickadees continue to draw my attention as they flit to and
from the snow-covered bush to the birdfeeder just outside the
window. It is -27 C, (7 F) here in Winnipeg today, and I can’t help
but wonder how these small birds can possibly abide winter’s bitter
chill. Having shared my dismay with my husband, he responded
matter-of-factly, “They’re made for it, otherwise they wouldn’t be
here. After all, they have wings.” May we have similar confidence
in our own abilities to abide this season, whether it proves to be
bitter or sweet, knowing that we too, have wings - if not of
feathers, of faith and of fortitude.
I wish to
write to you this month of the joys and the challenges of the season
that is upon us, and to express my deepest wishes for you, my
colleagues, who work tirelessly each day in the important and
difficult capacity of cultivating hope and belief in the lives of
those who need it most. Sadly, for many it is at this time of year
that people find it most challenging to keep their spirits up. In
the face of a world that is dressed up in colorful lights and
tinselled trees, with “Tra La La La La” being blasted from the loud
speakers, what does it mean for those who find themselves
discouraged, disheartened, or dispirited by their present
circumstances?
Before you
think this issue is all doom and gloom, the truth is that I love
Christmas! For me it is a time of immense joy and celebration when,
as one writer put it, “the world is joined in a conspiracy of
love”. Among other things, I love the baking, the decorating, the
card writing, the shopping for and wrapping of gifts, the hosting of
gatherings, and the singing of carols. I love the sound of
Salvation Army bells, the aroma of pine and cedar, and the vision of
candles lit in windows, wreaths hung on doors, and blue smoke rising
from chimneys in the night air. Perhaps most of all, I love the kind
of stories told at this time of year – three wise men being led by
the light of a star to a lowly manger, the bullied reindeer who
saves the day employing the very attribute for which he has been
teased, the grizzled heart of a Grinch growing 10 times bigger, a
despairing angel earning his wings, a U.S. court declaring Santa to
be “real”, or a greedy Scrooge coming to see that “humanity is his
business”! And who doesn’t love a poem about children snuggled up
in their beds, as visions of sugar plums dance in their heads?
For some,
however, this time of year is not a time of merriment and
celebration, but of tedium and obligation. For some it is dreading
the long lines at crowded stores, of untangling tree lights, of
going further into debt, or spending time with relatives they spend
the rest of the year trying to avoid. Most of us would agree that
every year Christmas arrives more heavily wrapped in the trappings
of commercialism and consumerism than the year before, requiring us
to tear through many layers in order to get to the true spirit of
the season. Surely there are as many reasons that some may cry “Bah
Humbug” as there are for those who are busy making merry. To each
his own.
The people
who break my heart, however, aren’t those who are an aversion to the
season, but those who are barraged by the onslaught of difficult or
painful sentiments, memories and emotions that the season evokes.
One of the characteristics of the holiday season is the spell of
nostalgia that it weaves. Unfortunately, reminiscence can be both a
curse and a blessing. Who has not felt a healthy dose of
homesickness at Christmas, even from within our own homes?
This season
can intensify the deeper longing we sometimes feel for that
something uncertain, something missed, and yet intangible. For
some, this is a time of year when they feel most acutely the hunger
for what has not yet happened in their lives – be it a mate, a
child, a home, or a job. While it is lovely that the season brings
to mind all of those who are dear, it also brings to mind all of
those we’ve lost, those from whom we are estranged, and those who
are far away. For those whose families are dispersed and scattered
far and wide, whose loved one is ill, imprisoned or serving abroad,
this time of year can be a painful reminder of their absence from
others.
In the spirit
of the season, we need to be sensitive to and aware of the wide
range of feelings that the holidays evoke. If we are not hearing
from people, or they fail to show up for a class, an appointment, an
interview, or a gathering, rather than assume that it’s a behavioral
issue, what if we make room for the possibility that it’s a matter
of spirit rather than intention? If applicants or students show
less enthusiasm in their job search or their studies, can we make
room for the “holiday affect”? Showing up late (or not at all)
could be due to a little too much eggnog the night before - then
again, it could be the fact that they have no one with which to
share that glass of eggnog. We may never know for sure, and perhaps
it’s not even our business. But what is our business is extending
kindness and understanding where it may be needed most. That, and
perhaps a little extra-bolstering of hope and belief!
“Believe
What?”
I admit to
being enough of a holiday enthusiast that I bought a T-shirt bearing
the word “Believe” written in silver sequins across the front. I
was wearing it last week, busy addressing Christmas cards while
seated at my gate at the airport. At the gate was a beautiful,
little fair-haired boy awaiting the same flight with his parents.
My guess is that he was around 7 or 8 years of age. Perhaps being a
new reader, I watched him mouth the letters on my shirt, and then
proudly proclaim, “Believe!” I smiled at him, nodded, and winked.
With great sincerity he scrunched up his little face and asked,
“Believe what?” Taken aback, I paused a few seconds and replied,
“In magic, of course!”
“Believe
what?”, he asked. Out of the mouths of babes. An eight year old
blurts out the obvious question. But what of the 20, 30, 40 , or 50
year old who is in the throes of a difficult transition? What of
the person who is feeling anything but merry and has no halls to
deck with mistletoe and holly? What of the person who has spent the
last weeks (months, years) in the unemployment lines, whose dreams
have been dashed time and again, and who sees no hopeful prospects
on the horizon? How would I respond if they posed the question, “In
what would you have me believe”? “In magic, of course”, would
probably not be my best response.
For those who
know me it won’t come as a surprise to learn that this lad’s query
put me into enough of a tailspin that I spent the hour-long flight
from Minneapolis to Bismarck journaling my response . Among other
things, the following made my “Believe in…” list. In my mind, for
those who are disheartened, discouraged, or dispirited this season,
cultivating trust and restoring hope in the following would make a
very fine gift!
Denise’s
“Believe in” List
-
Believe
in fresh starts and new beginnings and that it’s never too late
to become what you wish to be.
-
Believe
in the uncanny strength of the human spirit to rise above
circumstances. Even your spirit in your circumstances.
-
Believe
in the power of making new choices and in taking small steps.
Believe that the best may still yet to be.
-
Believe
that everyone is gifted in a unique way, and that the expression
of those gifts (in or outside of the workplace) is the finest
thing we have to share with the world. Believe in your gifts!
-
Believe
that when we persist in following our own inner beckoning, our
own truth and “path with heart”, there will be a way. It is
said that the darkest hour comes just before the dawn. Believe
that this could be true for you too.
-
Believe
that we are blessed in more ways than we can possibly fathom,
and that gratitude is the shortest path to joy. With or without
gifts under a tree, a turkey in the oven, or a stocking to fill,
just that we are still here, with breath in our lungs, gives us
reason to feel our cup overflowing.
-
Believe
in recognizing your teachers, and paying it forward. There is
always someone who could use your help and your compassion.
-
Believe
that opportunity is everywhere - all around us - and that hidden
possibility lies in places we would least expect. In the words
of Thomas Edison, “When you have exhausted all possibilities,
remember this: You haven’t.”
-
Believe
that nothing is too good to be true, and that we need not take
the limits of our own imaginations as the limits of the world.
-
Believe
in Christmas not as an event, but as a state of mind and a way
of being. Rather than attempt to cram a year of goodwill and
brotherhood into the space of a few weeks – treat it as a
year-long endeavor.
-
Believe
that we are here to bear each other’s burdens, to ease each
other’s loads, and to bring the medicine of love into the
world.
-
Believe
that each of us has the power to be the angel that someone
alone, lonely or heartbroken is hoping for and waiting to
appear. All of our words and actions matter, in ways big and
small, known and unknown to us.
I encourage
readers to consider writing your own ”Believe in … List” as it is a
worthwhile and introspective exercise. You may agree or disagree
with the convictions on my list, and you will certainly add some of
your own. Regardless, these beliefs and the hope they give rise to,
are the spiritual, mental, emotional food we have to offer those who
are hungry for inspiration and for hope. How we model, teach, and
cultivate these beliefs in our own lives and in the lives of others
will be different to each of us given our unique situation.
However, taken as whole, I believe that these convictions make
something worthy of the term “Magic”. I spoke plain and simple to
the fair-haired boy at Gate 22. There is magic in the world –
perhaps not something that happens to us, but something that
happens through us. This I do believe.
This article
inspired me to write “Winter Wishes”, which I offer below in the
Poem of the Month. In ending, however, I am delighted to share the
a blessing from the great Irish poet and writer, John O’Donohue,
which speaks so beautifully and to the challenge and privilege
offered to us not just in December, but all through the year -
“May you have the eyes to see
That no visitor arrives without a gift,
And no guest should leave without a blessing.”
Wishing peace
and joy to you and yours!
~
Denise
© Denise Bissonnette,
December 2010 (If not used for commercial purposes, this article may be
reproduced, all or in part, providing it is credited to "Denise
Bissonnette, Diversity World - www.diversityworld.com." If included
in a newsletter or other publication, we would appreciate receiving
a copy.)
Read Denise's previous (October
2010) newsletter...
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